Brutiful
Greetings, Yogis -
It’s been a beautiful & brutal 10 days … “brutiful” as Glennon Doyle has termed …. my trip to visit my family in Oklahoma was amazing … 1100 miles driving across the beautiful states of West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee & Arkansas … into my home state, Oklahoma, which always grounds me.
My mom rented a gorgeous house for all of us — my brother, his girlfriend, my 11-y.o. niece (all from Australia) and my dad & his wife, Mom & me.
We had THE BEST time doing all the things — Abby got to learn how to make Mom’s famous sugar cookies. Nathan (my bro) carved an amazing pumpkin with Abby’s favorite, a witchy kitty ;). I brought kayaks & a paddleboard — and Abby got to try those for the first time & had the best time swimming (she’s been a bit nervous to try).
Abby & I got to paint & draw a ton — she’s an amazing artist & is writing a chapter book with all her characters ;). We had a campfire with s’mores, got to hike in Beavers Bend State Park (famous for potential Sasquatch sightings), and played cornhole under the influence of some amazing Kentucky bourbon I found in Bardstown, Kentucky ;). I even got to share a yoga class with my whole family <3. My heart is full.
The brutal part — Tortilla told us it was his time. Jim called me Sunday, September 28th — I’d just entered Oklahoma — & said Tortilla had taken a sudden & terrible turn. As many of you know, in February, Tortilla was diagnosed with a mass on his brain … and we’ve been working with everything from fresh food to supplements to PT to steroids to daily routines to support him over the last 7 months (he was given 2-4 months). Our physical therapist, Shari, came over to assess him … she’s been caring for our boys for over 4 years and told us she would always be honest with us … and she kept her promise.
Monday morning, September 29th at 9am, Dr. Tiffany at Alpha Veterinary Services helped Tortilla’s suffering end. Jim & his dad were with Tortilla on his comfy bed in the green grass under a tree, and my mom sat with me online from 1,100 miles away, looking out over the Ouachita Mountains as the sun lit them up. I am so grateful to Dr. Tiffany — Tortilla left us peacefully. It was peaceful & the most pain I have experienced in my life.
Tortilla is my baby, my “sensitive Sally,” my escape artist, my “let’s-do-this!” adventurous boy. He loved to bask in the sunshine, chase frisbees, and squeeze himself onto my sleeping pad behind my knees in the tent when camping. When he wanted attention, he did not take “no” for an answer. He had the softest ears. The. Softest.
I am so. very. sad.
And so. very. grateful.
But more sad right now.
Thank you to all of you who have offered encouragement & asked about our boys over these last months. We were supposed to have him for 2-4 months and we got over 7. I know so many of you have loved an animal & experienced loss … and your empathy means a lot.
Our oldest boy, Baxter, is doing well — he seems to know more than we do about these things.
I look forward to seeing you in our yoga community — and know you will understand when my demeanor becomes somber and/or tears come, or when I need to adjust my schedule as the grief visits.
See you soon, E
