A Milestone Reached
May 23rd, 2024 was the start date of my last period. So, technically, in 2 days or so, I will celebrate my Menopause Day.
And after that? Post-menopause life.
I hardly remember the first day of my first period … age 12 or 13? Not much was talked about then … you got some supplies and got on with it. And I certainly wasn’t “aware” that this was a BIG change, a whole new stage of life.
So it’s been important to me to treat this new stage of life like the milestone that it is.
For 3 years now, I’ve been revisiting the Menopause: The Great Awakener course with Red School. Each November, for 6 weeks, a group of women / people who have menstruated get together online from across the ENTIRE GLOBE — to learn together and support one another through whatever stage of pre- / peri- / post-menopause we might be experiencing.
My first time through the course, I was in the thick of perimenopause and the physical & emotional symptoms were debilitating. Folks would talk about their “aha” moments during this time, about how “it gets better” … and all I could think about was that I was spiraling out and not dealing with all this very well.
Thankfully, I met people who were in the same boat as I was — feeling crazy, feeling like we want to burn it all down & walk away, feeling like we’re dealing with all of this badly. And I felt not-so-alone, that maybe I WASN’T handling this stage as badly as I thought after all.
Today, 4 years down my path and with a lot of work, support from others who’ve been here, and trial and error along the way … I’m feeling tentatively more stable physically and emotionally, a bit more confident and not so eager to burn it all down (though there are days). I’m also more gentle with myself — which may be the most important un-learning and re-learning yet.
The past 3 days I took myself to a little cabin in the woods — a solo retreat. Adopting the pace of Nature — “Nature does not hurry, and still everything is accomplished,” wrote Lao Tzu. In an age of “take a photo and share … or it didn’t happen,” I’ve decided to NOT do just that. The details and learnings are my own to cherish, digest and act upon.
Which I hope empowers YOU to do the same. Your personal evolution is your own — your milestones are milestones based on YOUR internal knowing, whether you choose to share with anyone or not. You can choose to cherish and nurture your experiences, rather than broadcast to the world for its validation. Your growth IS valid and real and true, whether anyone sees or comments or “likes” it or not.
I don’t know what’s ahead — not that I ever have, haha — and I so appreciate the community of women around me that offers role modeling, support and reality checks. I appreciate a connection with Nature and natural cycles — that everything has a season and there is important work, play and rest in each season. And as a seeker and perpetual student, I appreciate the grace and connection with a Higher Someone, who keeps reminding me that there’s a spark of Her in me that gives me purpose in this world - to bring more love and healing and to remind those who need to hear it of their / our inherent goodness … through Yoga, Nature experiences, conversations over Tea, and beloved community-building.
I was reading over a team journal from a 4-week backpacking trip I co-led with high schoolers back in 2005 with Wilderness Adventures at Eagle Landing in Virginia. We had hiked, canoe’d, climbed, caved, kayaked together … we had cooked, talked, argued, cried and bonded together. And we all smelled awful together after 4 weeks without a shower ;).
At the end of the 4 weeks, I wrote a final encouragement to our team. The last line I wrote was:
“Always remember how fabulous you are. And whenever you can, remind someone else how fabulous THEY are.”
Seems like a good reminder as I, and maybe you, move into the next stage of our adventure.
I am fabulous.
You … YOU are fabulous.
Let’s go make sure someone else knows THEY are fabulous too.
“Nature does not hurry, and yet everything is accomplished.” - Lao Tzu